Luke Grown Up

For those of you that actually read this (maybe 3 people), I urge you to read dynamoaf (www.dynamoaf.com). It is a blog that a couple friends and I write - we try to make it as funny as possible, and most times we succeed. Give it a shot, for yourself.

Well hello there. I’m still alive. I want everyone to know that stuff has been happening, but I’ve been too busy to record it.

Y’know, I could have sworn I had some good stories for this from the end of the summer, but I can’t even think of any. More entries to come, and if I think of any good stories, I’ll fix this post.

Update: Oh, I thought of a pretty good one.

So at one of the last parties of the summer, I am at D’Errico’s apartment in Allston. This is after Kurt had moved out and everything. This is also the first time I see Adam in a year, and I am thrilled. Adam used to be the drummer in my awful high school rock band. He now goes to school in Oklahoma, so I never see him. However, this weekend, everything changes. He picks me up at my house and we drive to Boston, getting pretty lost once we get into the city. However, we find a map near South Station and I am able to direct us the rest of the way there.

When we reach D’Errico’s, Adam, D’Errico, Woods, Kurt, and I all go out to Our House and get burgers and brews. Fuck, I’ll summarize. Basically, Kurt, Diaz, and Woods go to Diaz’s and drink all my beer. Then they come back and the party begins. Woods and I go uptown to buy some beer, and on the way we stop at Wonderbar and get some highly-overpriced Jager Bombs. Later on, after a last-minute trip to Big City, Woods disappears. It was just him and me in the bar, so I’m a little worried. I go downstairs, and he is waiting with a big pizza. I slam down a slice while we walk to his friend’s apartment. When we arrive, she isn’t there, so I hop off the balcony (it’s half a story up, not a big deal) and find my way back to D’Errico’s.

When I arrive I notice that the party has gotten heavier, but still enjoyable. Good people are all around. A little while later, Woods shows up with his friend that I missed before. She is short, real skinny, timid-looking, and sober. Obviously I don’t realize that she is sober at this moment. I get introduced and I go off to do something else. Five to ten minutes later, I see her in the kitchen. Now, this part is the punchline, and it’s a tad hazy. I say to her something along the lines of, “Hey, wanna see a neat trick?” and she replies, “Sure!” At this point I proceed to pick her up in my arms. I think I was trying to do the fireman’s carry or something. However, as I try to lift her up high, I completely lose my balance, and I fall, dropping both of us with a thundering THUD. Everyone - EVERYONE - stops what they’re doing and stares in horror. I am lying on the floor cracking up, kicking my legs in the air, and she gets up unscathed. After this I conclude that the high point has come and gone, so I retire to bed.

The next day I am up at 6:30. What else is new. I find that Woods is missing. After I have a clove, he calls me to let him into the building. I go downstairs and we go out trying to find a breakfast place, but none are open. They all open at 7. So we go to Store 24 and get some drinks, then head back to D’Errico’s. We sit out front smoking for a bit. I notice a can and bottle on the ground, and Woods tells me that last night while he was peeing off the balcony, I whipped a bottle three stories to the ground. Interesting. De lets us back into the building and we hang out for awhile on the balcony, having a High Life. Yes, at (now) 7 AM. Slowly but surely, people begin to stir within. I decide to take a shower. I get into the bathroom with a towel and all, and I notice what looks like potato peelings all over the tub. I don’t have my glasses on, so I can’t see exactly what it is. I peer at it from inches away. The drain has what looks like minced vegetables in it. Did someone make soup? I ask myself. Perplexed, I leave the room with a look on my face, grab my glasses, and go back. I still can’t tell. Ash (from Franklin) is awake, so I call her in to look. She has no idea what it is either. I see D’Errico, and he and De are being wicked weird when I ask them about the mess in the tub. I conclude that it is Chris’ vomit and forget showering. Kyle (from Franklin) gets up and is being rowdy and starts drinking. Woods and I continue. Kyle tries this chocolate raspberry liqueur that Woods had bought the night before. It is awful, but Kyle doesn’t mind it. It cost $2 for a huge bottle.

So we are getting drunk in the morning. Classy. Ash goes to Lee’s Market to get food, and Woods and I go with. The store smells HORRIBLE. Just awful. I quickly buy a bowl of spicy noodles for breakfast and get the fuck out. When I make the noodles, I decide to microwave the water in a mug. Well, boiling water plus rounded mug lip equals boiling water all over Luke’s hand. It hurt quite a bit. Weeks later, I still have marks from it on my hand.

Anyway, after this stuff, everyone leaves. Chris and I stay and keep drinking while laughing hysterically at Intervention (this one woman takes a bottle of pills to off herself and says, “I took the whole bot-tle” pronouncing both “t”s). Then we go to Back Bay, I chase some pigeons, and we take the train home, sleeping on the way.

Another thing I want to mention is the Irish. We partied with a bunch of Irish people a couple times toward the end of the summer. By “we” I mean Kenny and me. Kenny ended up getting mancrushed on by this Irish dude named Jordo - absolutely bullshit. Kenny loved it almost as much as he loved taking off his shirt. In fact, this came in handy on one occasion. I was sitting on the roof, talking to some girl I had just met, when Kenny comes up and walks into a puddle of water (it had rained earlier). Not only was there rain, but also someone had peed in it. I warned him, but it was too late. Regardless, I don’t think he cared, because he just started puking everywhere. Luckily he had his shirt off, because he blew his nose in it. Then he lost that and his shoes. We have no idea where they went.

One night, D’Errico’s and my friend Sterling came out to visit, so we went to the Irish party. Long story short, two Irish girls with boyfriends strung Sterl and me on all night. We were both pretty pissed about it.