Luke Grown Up

So I feel the need to be pissed off about this situation. If you think I’m whining, fuck off - if you were in my shoes, you’d be just as pissed as I am. A couple weeks ago my friend Kate asked me if I wanted a short-term job doing freelance revisions of these self-help workbooks. She showed me what I would need to do, and I said, “I’m in.” So I get a workbook to do and I revise the shit out of it. I show several people and they agree it looks really good. I worked on it for upwards of about 5 hours. I sent it to the boss lady named Marsha and didn’t hear a word about it.

This past week I got the second workbook I had to do. I went through and streamlined that motherfucker like no one’s business. I made it pretty and everything. Then I get an e-mail this morning from Marsha “The” Bitch saying that I needed to redo the entire thing on my own time because it wasn’t what she was looking for. She said that I was instructed on how to do certain things, but I didn’t follow those instructions because I did them wrong.

First of all, let me say that she was only paying me for approximately three hours for each workbook, even though only a jerk doing a really shitty job can get it done in that time. The amount of work that needs to go into these pitifully dated and grammatically incorrect books is staggering, and for some reason she doesn’t understand that.

Also, the delegation of responsibility was completely non-existent. Marsha assumed Kate was my boss, and Kate assumed otherwise. I do not believe that Kate was at fault at all - she and I both believed that we were on the same level, receiving orders from Marsha “The Boss” Bitch. However, I received little to no communication from her barring a frantic phone call on Saturday afternoon. She talked in circles, continually asking me if I was working on the workbook or the leader book, and I kept telling her, “The workbook.” I worked on it all night, through the Super Bowl and into the wee hours of morning. Spent around (or maybe more than) 6 hours on the piece of shit. Looked really smart. Followed the standards I was given (regarding footers, margins, and dates, whatever the fuck that means) throughout a collection of fractured e-mails, none of which were sent to me directly. Then I got that e-mail at 8 this morning.

So what did I do? I sent her this back:

Marsha,

She did explain to me how to do header/footers, and I was under the impression that the footer was what you wanted. And what do you mean by “dates”? My main focus was to update the text, and since I didn’t want to mess with any of the publishing information, I left it as is. I feel like I’m getting the short end of the stick because things are not getting explained to me as efficiently as they could be, so now I have to go back on my own time and re-work a book that I spent close to 6 hours completing? (And yes, I work quickly.) I don’t think Kate is at fault in her practices - she is trying really hard to get everything done and keep on top of Jonah, Shane, and me. She has forwarded me e-mails regarding formatting, but they don’t seem to have any definitive answers contained within them. Perhaps our practices of delegation have lost some important items in translation, but I think given the information and material I’ve been given, I’m doing a good job.

Please let me know about these mystery categories I’ve elicited above (i.e. header/footer/dates etc.)

This afternoon, after more than 6 hours of silence from her, I received this:

I am sorry if there was confusion. I have spoken to Kate about your work and what she told you to do. There is a gap between what she has told me and your work. I do not feel that you accomplished much here; as a matter of fact, we’ll have to start from scratch on this one with another student’s help. There’s just too much lacking. I will pay you for your efforts, but considering all the work that needs to be redone, I feel that 4 hours is sufficient. I can either write you a check (tell me where to mail it) or you can set up a Pay Pal acct (maybe you have one) Please complete the invoice attached and initial it and send back to me.

So basically, because I was given very few guidelines, my work is unusable for some reason. Not only that, but I’m getting royally screwed as far as work-hours go. I have a right mind to just post these workbooks on the web. Not going to do that, because I actually have standards, but it would totally serve this crazy lady right.

I guess in the end, it’s all good. I know that she can not keep this company afloat - She seems more scattered than a bunch Skittles in a bowl that were spilled at a party and traveled around the house all night being kicked inadvertently by guests. This shit’s gonna bomb. Peace lady. I am really nice until you fuck me over. Then all bets are off.