Luke Grown Up

I have a few things I want to say. First, I am a lazy sack of shit.  I was in and around my bed until 5:30 this evening.  It’s not even like I was doing anything worthwhile - I watched a few episodes of Batman Beyond and Men In Black 2.  Clearly I could have been doing better things with my time.  I just finished watching Road Trip on HBO, and currently coffee is brewing that will last me the week (I put it in a pitcher and refrigerate it, and take what I need each day).  It’s hazelnut. I hate hazelnut.  But I haven’t started working yet, so I have to make do with what I have.

Which brings me to my next point - I got the job at that electronics store.  However, it wasn’t without a hitch - I have to take a drug test.  No, I’m not going to fail. I’ll pass with flying colors.  I just think it’s a tad demeaning, for a pretty mediocre job. It pays the bills, I guess. Anyway, the thing about it is this: I had my third and final interview on Friday (three interviews? Come on.) at 3:30, and after I was done around 3:45, my new manager told me I had to go down the road to a lab and pee in a cup.  Well, I don’t have a car, so I couldn’t get there.  I called them - turns out they’re only open until 4 PM every day anyway.  So I have to go tomorrow. I don’t know what they were thinking, scheduling me so late in the day and expecting me to make it to the pee-cup in time - they really wanted to start me ASAP, so they should have planned it a little better. My roommate has agreed to drive me tomorrow between my class and my lab.

Finally, one other thing. As some of you may know, I just changed servers for my blog. I used to be on my college’s server, but I switched to one where I actually had a hope of being read (today.com! They only host blogs and videos).  I go to log in and I see today’s featured blog.  I don’t want to link to it because I don’t need any hate mail from children, but let’s just say it’s written by a naive soon-to-be freshman in college.  And his (her?) blog name is eerily similar to mine.  And his (its?) one and only entry is an angsty, faux-poetic pile of doggy shit.  A couple of gripes:

1. This person said, “[This summer] is the last time I will be home in general before I leave to pursue a higher knowledge in the money suck that is college.” Awkward grammar aside, this person should NOT be attending college. It is a lot more than a “money suck”.  It’s fucking awesome. I don’t care what anyone says - not only do you learn a hell of a lot in classes, but your worldview is opened up! College changes you in ways that are (mostly) beneficial, and it helps you to think critically and see the big picture.  The author will be editing this entry in a few months to say something like, “As I sit here, typing at my desk, the vacant snores of my roommate emanating from behind, I am feeling like I am in an entirely new country: a country that runs on knowledge and whose national food is ramen.” I got two words for ya buddy: Fuck you!
2. Second (I’d have more to say, but it’s a short post), this person is a lifeguard on a beach, which they call “the crap that is the current job”.  Awkward grammar aside again, being a lifeguard is A FUCKING AWESOME JOB.  You do very little and get paid for it! You can read a book (maybe), listen to music (definitely), and rake in the dough. Man, I wish we were all so unlucky to have that job.

Seriously, today.com, step it up! The last time I checked, your featured blog was a gossip column! Why not feature something that’s at least entertaining? I mean, entertaining in the fact that it’s not pitiful?

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